Washing an old woman — a story of communication gone awry
Have you ever found yourself in a situation so embarrassing it rendered you shameless for the rest of your life? A situation so ignominious it sets the bar so high anything else that ever happens to you pales in comparison?
Mine happened 10 years ago, when I was still in uni and desperately looking for activities to keep me occupied during the long holidays. A volunteer opportunity presented itself: I would accompany a group of international volunteers to a three- week “work camp” in Ahero, Kisumu. Boy was I excited! Our activities involved community work which entailed anything from visiting people’s farms to help them harvest rice, repairing decrepit mud houses for old people, visiting schools etc. I was having the time of my life, picking up German curse words and Finnish terms of endearment from my new friends (not to mention drinking copious amounts of vodka).
One Tuesday afternoon, our local guide, Moses, tall and dark in the conventional Luo way, told us we were going to visit an old woman who had broken her leg two months prior. We would be helping her with household chores. With the hot Kisumu sun bearing down on us, we began what turned out to be a 1-hour walk. By the time we got there, I was not only extremely hot and tired, but was no longer willing to take part in any activity that involved moving any part of my body.
After a round of introductions, Moses read out the list of chores we would be undertaking. “Collecting firewood in the forest, fetching water from the river, cleaning out the goat shed…”. I groaned inwardly. There was no way I was doing any of that. The international volunteers, excited by the prospect of doing something new, happily volunteered. I stayed put, waiting for a simpler task. “Washing the dishes, washing the nyanya..” he went on. “Ahhh, finally something I can do! I hate washing dishes so I’ll pick the last one. Washing tomatoes is super easy!” ’I thought to myself. So everyone left, leaving me, Moses, a volunteer from Hong Kong and the old woman, who I must point out, had not taken a bath in two months on account of her broken leg.
Moses, turning to me, asked “So Grace, what are you waiting for?”
“Nangojea nyanya ziletwe- I’m waiting for the tomatoes to be brought,” I told him with a satisfied smile on my face, knowing I had chosen the easiest task while the rest were cleaning goat poop and fighting crocodiles to fetch water for the lovely old lady.
He looked at me with a face full of bewilderment.
“Nyanya ndio huyu hapa- but grandma is right here!” he said puzzled.
It then occurred to me. I had stupidly thought that when Moses used the word nyanya to describe what was being washed, he wasn’t referring to tomatoes but to the second meaning of the word- a grandmother.
The look on my face was one of absolute horror and complete embarrassment. I looked at Moses, looked at the old woman, sitting with her leg propped up on a stool in front of her and couldn’t utter a single word. The lovely lady from Hong Kong, seeing my trepidation, and quickly came to my rescue. “I’ve worked in a nursing home, I can clean nyanya, don’t worry” She said graciously.
I mumbled a quick thank you and stumbled out of the house in shame. I ended up joining the goat shed crew, and was the butt of many jokes for the rest of the project’s duration.
Have a shame- free week folks!
